All I want for Christmas
by That Monday Rule
Summary: A crappy Xmas fic just to celebrate the holidays. Envy is mad at Ed for a stupid mistake and Ed attempts to win back his affections at the Xmas party. Ed x Envy Envy x Roy


Okay, um...hi. I suppose first I of all I should say merry Christmas to you. I know most of you will be sat there thinking 'Yeah! It's Christmas I'm so happy yay! Yatta yatta... and with it being Yule time I thought I'd let you all know how **I** was spending Christmas.

I suppose I'll start a few days back, it was December the twentieth, five days until Christmas day and I wasn't particularly happy. Not only was it cold, but there wasn't even any snow. This sucked because in my eyes when it's five days until Christmas and I'm freezing my ass off; there should at least be snow.

But, snow there was not and since it'd been far too cold to stay outside for long I'd spent most of my Sunday sprawled across the sofa and getting in Greed's way. I could tell he was getting annoyed with me but I guess Lust must've told him about what'd happened between me and Ed since he didn't say anything.

Ed's a good friend of mine. Well, okay I suppose I should say...Things between us are awkward since on the last day of term he shoved his tongue down my throat and now the fucker won't answer any of my calls!

Not that I'm angry.

Much.

'Cept, if something like that's happened to you, you'll know that I have a right to be mad at him because he was being (for lack of a more fitting word) a dick.

So anyway, after my uneventful day full of moping around, I decided to take a bath. I like baths; they're so warm and relaxing and make you forget about everything. Greed looked relieved when I finally hauled myself up off the sofa and grabbed my book off the arm. He was on his laptop probably sealing some business deal. I have no clue what Greed's job actually is but whatever it is he makes heaps of money but has never bought his own place.

He reckons if he sticks around long enough when Dante croaks he'll inherit the family home. He's wrong of course, I know for a fact that this place is going to Lust. Greed and Lust are my siblings. I have six, three brothers and two sisters.

Pride's the oldest, he's forty something but no-one really likes him, Then there's Lust at twenty-six, Gluttony's twenty-four, Greed's twenty, then there's me and Sloth at sixteen, and finally the runt of the litter is Wrath who's fifteen.

Don't ask me how old our mother Dante is because I have no fucking idea, she must be at least a hundred by now but she's still hanging on and we have to be nice to her until she dead because if we're not we can wave goodbye to the truck loads of cash she has hidden around.

Anyway, so I was sat rather happily in the bath, water up to my chin with my legs hung over the edge. It wasn't particularly quiet; I could hear Sloth's music blaring out of her speakers from the room next door. And Wrath was on the other side of the wall talking to his fellow nerds online.

I sighed and sunk down a little, closing my eyes. As usual my thoughts turned to Edward and that kiss. I'm not going to say I was confused or anything, I knew exactly how I felt; it was Edward that needed to get his priorities straight. I'd sent him numerous text messages, but to no avail, he was still avoiding all contact with me.

He wouldn't be able to avoid me for too long though as Lust's big Christmas Eve party was in four days and I knew for a fact his parents would make him come. Deciding it would be best to wash my hair rather than let it go greasy; I dropped my head back into the water and then lathered it in shampoo, making sure to dig my fingers into the roots.

--

I'd just gotten out of the bath and was getting comfy in my pyjamas (pale pink with white bunnies on them; a present from Sloth) when Lust announced her presence by knocking on my door, I smiled at her from where I was laying flat on my stomach on the bed, my laptop sat in front of me.

"You have a visitor Envy." She said.

For a moment I got excited, my mind immediately thought 'It's Edward! Edward's finally come to see me!'

It wasn't however, as I realised a second later when Roy stepped up behind my sister and grinned at me.

Although I was disappointed that it wasn't Ed, I was still happy to see Roy, the friend that wouldn't avoid me no matter how many times he kissed me (we'd been drunk...most of the times...).

"Hey En, nice PJs."

I chuckled and hoisted myself into a sitting position as Lust left us alone. Roy's happy go lucky attitude always seemed to lighten my spirits. Either that or just his general presence, we'd grown up together and there wasn't a lot we hadn't been through.

"Hey Roy, how's it going?"

Roy shrugged and it as then I noticed the neatly wrapped box in his right hand, I instantly grinned and leaned towards him.

"What's in the box Roy?" I asked, a smirk playing on my lips. Roy looked at the box and chuckled.

"Well, I was gonna give you your Christmas present at school the other day but you looked a little busy with Edward so I thought I'd wait."

My jaw dropped.

"You saw that?"

"Yup, I think the whole school did with the way everything went quiet when it happened. Not that you'd noticed, you looked like you were on cloud nine."

I must've been blushing as I suddenly felt very warm. This made me scowl, as I hated blushing, it made me look even more like a girl and I didn't need that.

"Envy stop looking at me like it's my fault. Shouldn't you be happy anyway? You finally have that boyfriend you're always talking about."

"Ed's not my boyfriend..." I mumbled, looking away from him.

"What was that?"

I sighed.

"I said, Ed's not my boyfriend. He hasn't answered any of my texts, calls or emails since Friday..."

Roy blinked at me for a few seconds before sighing.

"Why are things always so complicated with you En... I suppose it's a good job I brought this."

It was then that Roy reached into his gigantic coat pockets and pulled out an extra large bottle of pure Russian vodka. I swear I had never loved a human being as much as I loved Roy at that moment.

One hour and half a bottle of alcohol later and as you might expect I was feeling a hell of a lot better. After sneaking downstairs and grabbing a couple of shot glasses from Greed's (coughillegalcough) bar in the basement, we'd then proceeded to drink ourselves silly. This didn't take a lot, especially in my case. Roy often told me I couldn't handle my liquor well.

I grinned and rolled over onto my stomach as Roy poured us two more shots.

"Your go En..."

I chuckled and swirled my glass around.

"I have never...willingly kissed a girl." Roy snorted with laugher.

"That's not fair!"

"Tough, you still gotta' drink."

Reluctantly he downed his shot and shook his head. I laughed and quickly filled up his glass before he could protest.

"Alright my turn. I've never...worn lycra!" he said smugly. With another smirk i took a deep breath and quickly downed my drink, Roy laughed loudly.

"Oh god En, you haven't!"

I shrugged.

"S'no big deal, I'm gay, it's allowed. I've never had a meaningful relationship."

Roy blinked at me for a second, before realising I was carrying on with our game. He didn't reach for his glass and I raised a brow. He shrugged.

"Guess I never have either."

Sighing, I rolled my eyes and downed my drink; I suddenly didn't feel like playing anymore. Groaning I rolled onto my back and stared up at my dark haired friend. He downed his drink anyway and shoved the almost empty bottle out of the way so he could lie down next to me. It was quiet for a while.

"So what're you gonna do about Edward?"

I shrugged and stretched my arms above my head leaving them there.

"Talk to him? If he'll let me..."

Roy elbowed me in the side and I yelped, kicking him as best I could from my awkward position.

"What the hell was that for bastard?"

"He doesn't deserve you."

I snorted and rolled onto my side to look at him.

"Isn't Ed your friend?"

"I suppose, but if he has to think about it I think you're better off without."

Roy looked at me after I didn't say anything for a while. Then he rolled over to look at me right in the eyes.

"Besides." He said, smirking suddenly. "He's shorter than you."

We laughed, both knowing how much Ed hated being called short.

"So who does deserve me?" I asked, "Cos I'll be damned if anyone else's shown any interest."

It was probably because I was drunk that I was so shocked when Roy kissed me. Had I been sober I would probably have been expecting it as I'm used to waking up with a hangover and Roy draped all over me. I kissed him back for a while, humouring him until tried straddling my hips. I shoved him off.

"You're fucking drunk."

"So're you."

He kissed me again, slipping his hand up my shirt.

"Mmf! And you're straight."

"And you look like a girl, plus, you said you wanted someone to be interested in you, so I'm just giving you what you want..."

"You forget that I still have a dick no-matter how much of a girl I am."

"Envy."

He looked at me. Just looked at me, and eventually I guess I gave in, more so to spite Edward than because I wanted the attention. I don't really remember much of what we actually did; all I really do know is that I woke up the next morning completely bare and with a headache to rival all headaches.

Roy wasn't next to me but I knew he was still here as his clothes were still all over my floor. Wincing as my head pounded in my ears I hauled myself into a sitting position and raked a hand through my (tangled) hair.

I sat there, my sheets pooled at my waist feeling like death when I heard a knock on my door. Even the gentle sound caused my head to throb and I scowled. Looking up I saw Lust standing in the doorway looking at me with the blank stare she gave me every time I had a hangover.

I groaned and rubbed at my eyes. She took this as a sign to enter and sat down on the edge of my bed, offering me a cup of coffee that I accepted gratefully. We were quiet for a minute or so while I gulped down my coffee despite how much it burnt my throat, but then she gave a dramatic sigh and I prepared myself for the lecture that was sure to come.

"You look like shit my dear brother." I glared at her before turning my attention back to my mug.

"I can assure you I feel even worse."

"Hmm...Vodka then I see?" She leant off the bed and picked up the empty bottle lying next empty on the floor.

"Ugh, don't say vodka...even thinking about it makes me feel nauseous..."

Lust rolled her eyes and tugged at a strand of her long black hair.

"Did you and Roy sleep together?"

I nodded and sighed as the guilt sank in, this always happened even if technically it wasn't my fault.

"Yeah...I think so."

Lust shook her head and whacked me round the arm. It didn't hurt but I ow'd anyway. This was our deal, after the first three times we agreed that every time I got drunk and slept with Roy, she was allowed to hit me. Not that it made much of a difference.

"Where is he?" I asked, downing the last of my coffee and setting the cup on the floor.

"Shower. Y'know one of these days you two are gonna end up falling out. One of you needs to hurry up and get a boyfriend so you can stop fucking each other over whenever alcohol is involved."

I sent her another glare but quickly gave up as my glares have no affect on Lust.

"...Roy isn't gay."

A sound from across the hall said that Roy was done in the bathroom then and Lust sighed.

"Well weather he is or he isn't all I'm saying is you two can't do this forever."

She stood up and picked up the empty bottle before giving me a quick smile and leaving the room only for Roy to enter a few seconds later with a towel round his waist. Well, why cover up when it's all something I've seen many a time before right?

He gave me a sort of half smile.

"Feeling rough?"

"Of course...How 'bout you?"

He shrugged and sat down on the bed.

"I was talking to your sister this morning."

"Which one?"

"Lust."

"Oh...great. How'd that go?"

"Alright, she's a nice lady."

I rolled my eyes.

"Alright, and what did she tell you? And if it's something about me don't believe her."

"She says we sleep together too much."

"She's right there. We do."

Roy laughed and ran a hand through his hair. He gave me a grin and ruffled my hair, not that it wasn't already a complete mess thanks to him probably drooling on it all night.

"Well I was gonna take responsibility for my actions but I'm guessing that'd be a no from you."

I blinked at him.

"What?"

"I mean I was gonna ask you out, y'know see if there was anything behind all the drunken sex."

"Roy...Have you gone insane?"

"What? No!"

"Then stop talking nonsense! You, my friend, are straight. Is this what Lust told you to do? Ugh I am gonna' kill her..."

"So, you don't like me?"

"Not like that! No! I mean...y'know, I'm gay and you're hot but... that about as far as it goes. Despite him being a total dick, I still like Edward."

"I see... Dude I cant help you with Ed."

"I don't care; just...never say stuff like that again. You don't like guys. Don't let my sister bully you into thinking you have to."

Roy rolled his eyes and stood up then, stretching his arms and gathering up his scattered clothes from the floor.

"Time is it?"

I flopped down on the bed and rolled over fishing round on the floor till I found my phone and flipped it open.

"12:30...damn. I'm supposed to go shopping with Sloth today..."

"Yeah, I should probably get going. Um...I'm sorry man."

I sighed and waved a hand, shooing him out.

"Get a girlfriend Roy."

He laughed and left the room, taking his clothes. I heard the bathroom door open five minutes later and Roy bid me farewell. It took me another half hour to finally drag myself out of bed. I tried not to look down at the sheets as I did for fear of never being able to look at Roy in the face again.

After taking a shower and preparing myself for the day I braced myself and strode into the kitchen. Naturally all eyes in the room turned to look at me disapprovingly. Especially Greed, whose room is directly under mine. I winced at the dark aura surrounding him and made my way to the fridge.

"Morning o'brother mine. How's that pretty little hung over head of yours?"

Sloth sounded as cheery as ever as she slung her arm round my shoulders and spoke directly into my ears causing my head to scream at me.

"I'm fine, can you, not talk so loudly."

"Aww, am I being too noisy? Too bad Envy, you shouldn't have been drinking, you're underage. And besides, consider this payback for leaving me hanging. We're still going out you can't get out of it."

"...Let me grab my coat."

---

A lot of boring stuff happened after that. All of it leading up to the party. Sloth and I went shopping nearly every day as she kept remembering more and more things need to be the perfect host, even though, technically, it wasn't even her party.

Everyday leaving up to Christmas eve I couldn't help but get more and more nervous at the thought of seeing Edward. In all honesty I didn't even know what I was going to say to him. I'd considered coming straight out and asking him how he felt, I'd thought about small talk, and then I thought: Maybe he won't even turn up.

But then I remembered the time I met his mother and I realised that she'd make him come no matter what.

Eventually, Christmas eve cam and our house had gone into complete chaos as Lust ordered everyone around trying to prepare before the 'early arrivals' even though it was still three hours until the actual time on the invites.

Originally Lust had me working in the kitchen with Greed, but he as many people know is the most annoying man alive, not to mention the kitchen couldn't have been any hotter and id only just washed my hair, so I swapped jobs with Wrath and went last minute shopping for plastic knives and forks.

I tried my best to spend as long as possible at the store but after an hour and a half it seemed Lust was becoming rabid as my phone rang and she snarled at me to get home a.s.a.p. As soon as I did get home however the crappy cutlery was snatched off me and I was told to get out of the way more times than I could count.

So I figured since it was only an hour until party time I should go ahead and get ready. This of course meant stealing the bathroom for a hell of a long time. After deciding on what to wear (my usual black skinny jeans accompanied by a purple checked shirt that I made Greed buy me) I took a long shower and sat on the edge of the bath while I dried my hair.

When i finally left the bathroom (looking pretty damn hot) Sloth and Lust nearly barrelled me over to get inside before the other, it was rather amusing to watch but Lust is scarier when she's stressed (which she was) and so naturally she got in and sloth was left scowling in my room, angrily watching me apply eyeliner.

"Y'know Sloth, you could just use the bathroom downstairs."

Sloth snorted and rolled her eyes, tugging on the end of her hair.

"Please, there's hardly room to stand up in there. Hey En, can I borrow that really cute clip you have?"

"The purple one?"

"Yeah."

"No I'm wearing it."

Sloth groaned and fell backwards onto my bed. She grabbed the giant Cat that was sat lopsidedly on my pillow and buried her face in it. I could practically hear it screaming for my help... I would've said something but at that moment the doorbell rang and Lust cursed loudly from the bathroom. Seconds later she was at my door wrapped in a towel and looking distressed.

"Envy that's the first guests, they're early can you get the door I'm nowhere near ready."

I sighed dramatically and arose from my seat and began jogging downstairs to open the door. Tugging open the door I was met with two people whom I only somewhat remembered, however they seemed to know exactly who I was as I was immediately fussed over like a five year old.

The strange fussy people turned out to be my great auntie and uncle, although you can never tell in this family whether or not someone is actually related to you. But none the less I was civil and spoke to them until Lust came down in her little black dress and fluffy poofed up hair. TO say the least she looked stunning however this was Lust, she rarely didn't.

Pretty soon the party was in full swing and I was made to be 'Bar maid' by greed who thought it would be fun to slap my arse whenever I walked by until I 'accidentally' spilt his drink all over his expensive leather pants.

And this I suppose is where the happy ending begins. See, as I was pushing my way through the crowds (Lust knew a hell of a lotta' people) handing out vodka shots as i did so, i spotted a blonde head bobbing up and down in the living room.

I could tell it as Edward as no-one else's hair is that blonde. Pursing my lips I took the tray of alcohol and grabbed Wrath from where he was sat playing video games with Alphonse, Ed's 'sweeter that kittens' little brother.

"Wrath, serve these would 'ya? If you do you can have my WKD at toasts."

Wrath grinned like the mischievous alcoholic to be that he is and took the tray. As soon as I made sure he wasn't going to steal any shots I pushed through the swarms of not-so-sober guests until the blonde boy he knew was within reach.

Edward has his back to me and was talking to some girls I recognised from school but that didn't stop me from grabbing him by the shoulder, spinning him round, putting my hands on my hips and glaring at him.

As soon as he recognised me he went instantly pale.

"E-Envy! Um...hey, how's it going?"

"Yes, Edward, you should be scared. Because you have no idea how angry I am. Now you are going to stand here and explain to me WHY you have been avoiding me and It better be a good reason."

Edward bit his lip and looked behind him where the girls were looking rather alarmed. They had a right to be. Ed gave a small timid sounding laugh and put a hand on my arm, I would've shook it off but I wanted to see where he was going.

"Uh...Envy come with me we can talk where it's quieter."

Reluctantly I allowed him to lead me up the stairs and into the first room we came to which conveniently happened to be my room. Once he'd shut the door and most of the noise had been blocked out, he turned to face me and looked at me right in the eyes.

This was unfair as Edwards's eyes are somewhat mesmerizing. They're a very deep gold colour, more amber perhaps but they shine and it's hard to think about anything else.

"Envy...you have no idea how confusing this week has been. For one thing, that kiss, well I thought I knew what I wanted but I didn't, not really, ever since I've spent the last week thinking ' what am I? Am I gay? Am I straight?'..."

"Whoa hold on a sec. You didn't even know if you were gay...And yet you still went ahead and kissed me?"

"No En I kissed you because I liked you. Well, I do like you. And I'm pretty sure you like me too right?"

"...Well, yeah but, I'm still angry at you."

"Yeah I know, I've been a dick, I deserve it but I've figured it out now! I thought about it for days and I actually went to my Dad, My Dad Envy, you know how he is. And I actually went up to him and told him that I was gay. Do you know what he did?"

I chuckled and flicked my hair out of my eyes.

"He was mad?"

"Furious. And I told my mom, I told her it was you that I liked. And then she hit my dad, it was funny actually but still..."

He smiled when I laughed at the thought of tiny Trisha hitting a man the size of Ed's dad.

"Are you still mad at me?"

He was grinning and I rolled my eyes.

"Yes, and I'm letting you off too easily, but I suppose I can allow you to make it up to me..."

Ed smiled and reached into his pocket pulling out a small red box, he handed it over to me. I blinked, now feeling bad for not getting him anything in return. Of course that didn't stop me from taking the gift and opening it. I don't know what I was expecting but inside was a silver bracelet. It had my name inscribed on it and I smiled, taking out of the box, I held out my arm for him to fasten it.

"How nice of you to remember I can be swayed by sparkly things."

"Envy, I really am sorry."

"You're not done yet. You still have more making up to do."

Ed looked at me for a little while, before leaning in and placing the softest kiss on my lips. I closed my eyes and kissed him back, wrapping my arms around his neck. When we pulled apart he smiled at me and took my hand.

"Merry Christmas Envy."

"Merry Christmas you big faggot."


End file.
